I’ve been told (more than once) that I can be hard to take.  While that’s hard feedback to hear, over the years I’ve learned what it means and am starting to learn what to do about it.  You see, my energy level is usually pretty high.  It’s more than just being extraverted – essentially I am happy, upbeat and expressive.  While these characteristics are things most people like about me, I’ve come to realize that my energy level can also turn people off.  People that I am meeting for the first time sometimes think, “Wow – what a phony.  Nobody can be this positive.”  Over time many people realize that it really is me and that I am not faking it.

So why is this a problem?  While I could just say, “This is who I am – take it or leave it” I am starting to realize that my energy might actually shut other people down.  Oddly enough, I’ve only starting to see this because lately I have been around other people who exhaust me.  There are some folks who can be so talkative, dominating, and opinionated that I almost recoil.  Without even realizing it, I back away a few inches, fold my arms and sometimes even stop talking.

I hadn’t noticed myself doing this until my good friend Mary Lynn pointed it out to me.  She went on to graciously point out that I sometimes have the same effect on others!  Only a true friend can tell us these sorts of things about ourselves and I am truly grateful to Mary Lynn for helping me see this blind spot.  Thanks to her, I now try to bring my energy to a more solid, grounded place – especially when meeting new people.  I try to make space in the conversation for others and listen more.  Yes, I have a long way to go but I am starting to improve.  Most importantly, I now see how being bubbly can energize some people and exhaust others.  Thank you ML.