Recently I have been interviewing people about the topic of silence in the workplace.  I’ve been curious about what causes people to speak up and what causes them to keep their ideas, opinions, and concerns to themselves.   While there is great variance in what people will share, and with whom they will share, I am finding that most of us have one thing in common when it comes to speaking up.  Most of us “test the water” before plunging in.  We say things like, “I have an idea I’ve been wanting to talk with you about” or “I’m not totally sure that will work.”  Notice that neither of these statements tells the other person what we think or feel.  Instead statements like these are used to “feel out” whether the other person is interested in what we have to say.  If we get an expression of interest back, we open up.  If we don’t we stay silent.  Or we talk or vent to someone else.

If you have wondered why you don’t hear more ideas from the people you work with, ask yourself if you tent to close people down or open up dialogue.  When people test the waters with you, does your response cause them to retreat from the edge of the pool or jump right in?  Responses that cause people to retreat include:

• Oh we’ve tried that
• Well, I think that . . .
• Let me explain

If you recognize yourself in any of these, experiment with responses that get people to jump in instead.

• Tell me more
• I am interested in your point of view
• Let’s schedule a time to talk about that

Remember, if we don’t ask people to share, we will never be aware of what they are really thinking.